So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
We are all done wearing pants today
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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