Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
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