I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
