I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
