In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
