so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
