this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
