Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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