Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
