I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'm like, not good at living.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
