if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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