Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(516): View more from New York

i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.

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(740): View more from Ohio

no more hot dogs for you........

(1-740): View more from Ohio

fine no more vajj for you

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(513): View more from Ohio

There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.

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(913): View more from Kansas

I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself

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(317): View more from Indiana

Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.

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(406): View more from Montana

A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"

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(905): View more from Ontario

But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.

(1-905): View more from Ontario

Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.

(905): View more from Ontario

But I want to be Keith.

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