I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
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Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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