So drunk its hurt
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
