I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
