Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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