our cab driver is having phone sex.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
