totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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