I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
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