I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
you inspire me to be a worse person
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
