Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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