I can't watch pbs sober anymore
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize