why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
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drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
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Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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