i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize
