Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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