I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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