Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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