I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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