Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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