I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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