there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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