I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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