chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
