Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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