I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
operation harelip BJ is a go
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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