also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
