I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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