She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
that's an acceptable place to lick
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
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