Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
