Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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