We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize