I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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