Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
All the doctor said was why
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
