A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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