I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize