idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
