i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
