your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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