There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
