i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
