Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I wear drunk well.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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