At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize