You just made me feel so damn special
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
