Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
