im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
