i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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