i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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