She is in my trunk
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize