You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
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