I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
