remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
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