I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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