He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
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