Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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