fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
